Most people across the US who have heard me speak will recognize the name Bessie Brown.Ā She has been the topic of many wonderful anecdotes and the source of a score of quotes through the 26 years of our friendship. For those that constantly ask… Yes, sheās still kicking! In January she turned 104!Ā Ā She is still as cheerful and sarcastic and wonderful as she ever was, though the tragic disease Alzheimerās has struck that witty brain that I have so enjoyed sparing with for so long.Ā And though, occasionally, I need to remind her who I am, she still trades hilarious insults and quick ācome-backsā to my jabs at her.
Reflecting on our friendship recently, I wanted to share a few ānuggets of wisdomā I have received from this incredible woman; some intentionally shared as she pinched my ear and some I picked up through the osmosis of our close relationship.
1. āTry everything once unless itās immoral or illegal.ā
Bessie didnāt discover her love of pizza and motorcycles till she was in her 80ās.
2.Ā Collect things you love, but donāt hold on to them tightly.
Bessie was a consummate yard sale/antique buyer, but she collected most things with someone else in mind as the final owner.
3.Ā Enjoy the company of anybody and everybody.
Bessie had hundreds of stories of people she met āat the storeā or in a restaurant that ended with āand weāre still friends. She had more friends than anyone I know and her life was so rich because of it.
4.Ā āPlay dumbā and keep your mouth shut during conflicts involving family, church, work or friendship.
She always said āIāll just let em work it out and pick em all up when itās done.ā
5.Ā Risk.
She once told me that the only pain she ever felt was the pain of regret. (Regretting what she never tried) She said the pain of failure went away.
6. Ā Ā Plant, cultivate, and grow something.
She loved to grow any kind of plant imaginable. She especially like clippings from other peopleās yards and she spent countless hours in her patchwork āgardenā.
7. Ā Ā Laugh. Make others laugh too.
My lingering memories of her will be of the constant banter between us and the reactions we got from anyone who was ālucky enoughā to be our accidental audience.Ā Even now, in her diminished mental state, she is quick to throw out a āone-linerā.
8. Ā Live thrifty.
Even though her husband died decades ago and Bessie lived on Social Security and odd jobs for years, she never had debt to worry about. If she couldnāt pay for it⦠she didnāt need it. What a novel idea!
9.Ā āFace changes and do what ya can with what ya got.ā
Bessie realized when it was time to stop driving, leading, working, and didnāt ever really complain about those things. She planned for them well in advance. She seemed to enjoy the ānext chapter in lifeā and what that might hold.
I was going to continue with all of the things she taught me but sheās not dead yet! (She says that all the time) I believe that sheās not through:
Enjoying my company,
Laughing with me,
Or planting, cultivating, and growing meā¦yet.
So,
To be continued….